Gafferu

well that went nowhere. (refer to previous journal)

this journal is honestly pretty redundant.

please say hi.

first journal since Nov 2015...

So I just wanted to point out that 46,000 people decided that it was worth the waste of 3 seconds (or 20, I don't know your internet speeds) to visit my stupid page. You're all idiots.
_{thank you though, really}

I think some people deserve some sort of halfassed explanation as to why I've basically fallen off the face of this page. It's quite simple actually and you've all probably heard it millions of times over so here's a million and one. No Inspiration, No Dedication, No Privacy (what).

No Inspiration
So as some people know, a lot of things went to shit for me back in Christmas/New Year 2013, and by a lot I mean just about anything that could at that point. I was still putting out some art around that time but that was basically me just wringing the towel dry because I had lost a lot of my inspiration points by then. With all of that gone, eventually I just kind of stopped and couldn't really think of anything else to do. Not every ounce of hope is lost here however because the last month or two, I've been having a few ideas but this leads into my next point.

No Dedication
I just can't keep at it whenever I start trying to draw. A few times I have tried, but often whatever I'm doing will just get abandoned and left in a nice little folder on my desktop only to be opened sometimes when my curiosity wonders what the fuck it is. Some times it will be because my hand starts to hurt, others it will be just because I'm bored and want to go do something else. Bottom line is that trying to draw won't sit very high on my priorities if there's anything else for me to do.

and finally No Privacy
"the fuck you mean no privacy you whiny shit"
Exactly what it says. I've kind of pinned one reason why I quit drawing is a lack of privacy and a laptop. 101% of the time I ever drew anything, it was always on a laptop in my bed and shielded away from judgemental eyes. It's just something that really irks me whenever I'm doing something and I have someone peering over my shoulder because eveRYONE IS SILENTLY JUDGING EVERYTHING I DO. With the place I'm currently living in, my 'room' is quite literally defined by a bedsheet and my roommate being one of those roommates.

With all that being said, I actually do still visit this place on an almost daily basis and peer around at some things, mostly stuff that will show up on my watchfeed so yes friends, I am actually seeing your art, I'm just incredibly silent about it. Perhaps one day I will actually finish up some things I have kicking around, specifically this "Shopkeeper Kyra" thing I have that the concept is there but my skill is incredibly fucking garbage right now because I've plugged my tablet in maybe 6 times in the past year.

ok so i just spent the last week grinding on a game and now i'm done with that shit. fallout 4 was released so all my friends are playing that, and my build-in-progress is officially working again.

i guess i'll fucking draw.

later. after work.

might even stream it. cool huh?

*to an extent

at least i don't have to redo anything i was doing now or regather all my resources

i'm not drawing
i'm not using my tablet
i'm not here fuck you.


_{maybe i am but what do you care? >-> suck me off}